Category Archives: When Good Goes Bad

When Good Goes Bad – From love to lust

We’ve been talking about things that go from good to bad. Confidence slips into control. Applause makes us hungry for approval. But nowhere does this happen more frequently and with more devastating consequences than with sex, when love is replaced by lust.

We are sexual beings. Sex is part of God’s original design. He created it for procreation and for pleasure.  (See Proverbs 5:15-19)

Even though God created it, our culture has defined it as the currency men and women exchange. Women are tempted to trade the physical for the emotional connection they desire. Men are tempted to go for the physical without the emotional.

God’s design for sex is much more than a trite exchange where each party gets what they want but leave without the thing they really need. Sex is not the endless search for something that’s missing but the beautiful expression of something that’s already been found.  God’s design is two becoming one, leaving their previous life behind and creating a new life together.

Ladies, we want you to understand your worth comes from the fact that you are loved by the King of all creation. You don’t have to give yourself away to earn a man’s love. You ARE LOVED. When you carry yourself with honor and dignity it forces the men around you to relate to you as you should be related to, as God’s precious daughter.

Guys, we want to equip you to live a pure life in a world where so many don’t yet know their value:

  • Understand the way men are wired
  • Recognize your vulnerability
  • Flee temptation – there is no shame in running!
  • Put safeguards in place to protect yourself
  • Beware of the extended gaze that gives birth to lust
  • Know that seemingly insignificant decisions can lead to more consequential decisions

Comments:  Tell us what you think – Should we be talking about sex at church?

Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

This is Part 4 in a series
Part 3 – 5 Ways to triumph over addiction
Part 2 – Confident to control freak
Part 1 – Addicted to approval

When Good Goes Bad – 5 ways to triumph over addiction

Almost anything in life can slide downhill from good to bad. There is nothing inherently wrong with food, money, television or social media but we all know things can get out of balance. We live in a world with addictive substances and some of us are genetically predisposed to those weaknesses. Old habits can be hard to break.

God’s word makes it clear that we can live in victory. We are more than conquerors. God leads us in triumph! Here are 5 ways to triumph over addictive habit patterns:

  1. Focus on victory one day at a time – Jesus taught us to pray by asking for our daily bread. Don’t worry about forever, next year or next month- trust God with today!
  2. Focus on God’s power not your power – Willpower isn’t enough but with God’s power working in you and his strength to rely on you can do it!
  3. Focus on what you want- not what you don’t want  – When you spend your time thinking about what you don’t want to do, that negative thing becomes your focus. You will move toward what you focus on. Instead, fill your mind with positive thoughts and spend your time doing life-giving things
  4. Focus on doing good not feeling good – It’s always easier to act your way into a feeling than to feel your way into an action. Do the right thing and your feelings will catch up.
  5. Focus on the people who will help you make positive changes – Recovery is relationship based. Surround yourself with people who will walk with you and cheer you on toward freedom

Weekly Challenge: Live in victory TODAY!

2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ..

Romans 8:37…we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

This is Part 3 in a series
Part 2 – Confident to control freak
Part 1 – Addicted to approval


When Good Goes Bad – Confident to control freak

We celebrate titans of technology who forge uncharted territory with their creative genius. We admire their vision, determination and fearless confidence. We eagerly await their latest innovation. But genius comes with a price and they have a reputation for being tyrannical leaders.

It happens to average folks like you and me too. Good goes bad. And we swing from confident to control freak.

Wondering what that looks like? We can help:

  • If you constantly burn relational bridges… might be a control freak.
  • If you are always trying to fix people… you might be a control freak.
  • If you consistently interrupt and dominate conversations… you might be a control freak.
  • If you lose your temper and blow things out of proportion… you might be a control freak.
  • If you worry about everything… you might be a control freak.
  • If you always have to be right… you might be a control freak.

Our control issues are as old as Adam and Eve. We want to be in control because we we’re not convinced God is. He needs us to take over and take charge, right? Wrong! God loves us. He is for us. He is gracious and generous. He is able to work all things out for our good. So take a deep breath. Take a step back and take a break from your bungling efforts to rule your own world.

Weekly challenge – Yield control to God

Comment – We want to hear from you.  Complete this statement – “If you………..…you might be a control freak.” 

Romans 8:28, 31-32 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

This is Part 2 in a series
Part 1 – Addicted to approval


When Good Goes Bad – Addicted to approval

We want and need to be complimented, celebrated and encouraged for our efforts. Ideally, positive feedback would fuel a healthy appreciation for our accomplishments and a deeper understanding of our gifts.  It’s wonderful when that happens but unfortunately it doesn’t always roll that way. Good goes bad. Applause can be intoxicating and often leaves us craving more. We live preoccupied with doing whatever we can do to earn another round.

Do you see signs of approval addiction in your life?

  • Healthy diet and exercise mutates into body image obsession.
  • A glowing evaluation leads to overtime hours and skewed priorities.
  • Affirmation feeds the need to be needed and you can’t say “no.”
  • The desire to be liked becomes your driving motivation.
  • You are dependent on approval for your happiness
  • You abandon your core values for fear of disapproval
  • Your joy is determined by what’s going on in someone else’s head.

It is easy to slip into approval addiction, but it’s not without risk. It can drive you to compromise, make you vulnerable to manipulation and lead to exhaustion. All risk aside, it robs the world of the real you – unique, beautiful YOU!

Stop approval addiction from snowballing and taking your life on a downhill ride by resting in the total acceptance of God’s unconditional love!  By grace you are accepted by God. He finds you charming, lovely and altogether agreeable. I know what you are thinking, “I am not always charming and agreeable.” It’s true, you’re not! I’m not either. But that is how the Father sees us. It’s what he made us to be. Imagine how wonderful life would be if you found your security in his love!

Weekly Challenge: Rest in the total acceptance of God’s unconditional love.

Comments: Have you ever been addicted to approval? How do you remind yourself of God’s grace and acceptance?

Ephesians 1:4-6  …He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.