Reconciling Relationships

Relationships can be a challenge. We all have issues. What makes things spiral out of control and how do we go about reconciling relationships?

Family and friends make life fun. Relationships bring joy and productivity, but there is some fine print. There are some hidden fees and a lot of – how shall we say it? – poop.

Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests. Proverbs 14:4 NIV

Conflict happens in every relationship. What causes relationships to go sideways?

Unrealistic expectations – Sometimes people enter into relationships with the hope of finding a savior – someone to meet their every need. Unrealistic expectations suffocate the life out of a relationship. Jesus is the only one who can save.

Drift – If we take our relationships for granted, we get carried away by the current and we drift apart. Drift is the opposite of savior syndrome. Sometimes relationships are destroyed not by what we do, but what we don’t do.

Unforgiveness – We are all flawed individuals. We all make mistakes. Unforgiveness keeps us stuck in the pain of our imperfection. Without forgiveness we never move forward.

Healing broken relationships is what Christianity is all about. Reconciliation is the byproduct of love and love is the highest value in the kingdom of God. The Bible offers us a clear pathway for reconciling relationships.

 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. Matthew 18:15 NIV

Go – It’s not always easy to go. It’s risky. You may have to press through some fear, but love goes.

In private – It’s not easy to keep conflict between the two of you. Be aware of polluting other people’s minds with the temporary toxicity of your conflict.

Seek to reconcile – When you go, in private, with a heart to reconcile the relationship you’ll be able to restore and reestablish the majority of your relationships. All relationships have Matthew 18:15 moments. There is too much at stake to just walk away.


Click here for Part 1 of the Links Series – What does God look for in a mom?
Part 2  Love is…
Part 3 Love is…continued
and for expert advise on relationships read An interview with Kitty Kok